


Wanted: Flatmate

by Boton



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Flatmates should know the worst about each other, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:06:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8454670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boton/pseuds/Boton
Summary: Why would Sherlock Holmes need a flatmate? And how would he go about getting one? Maybe all it takes is a simple notice on the bulletin board.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Sherlock Holmes and his universe are the creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock is the creation of the BBC and its partners, and of co-creators Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. This work is for my pleasure and that of my readers; I am not profiting from the intellectual property of those creators listed above.

“Sherlock, dear, it’s not that I don’t want you living here with me. But it’s not healthy, a young man like you with no friends. Find yourself a nice person to share with, and I’ll even give you a break on the rent; you know I’m pretty well set, what with the money Frank left me and all. Just put up a notice on the bulletin board; you’ll find someone right away, I’m sure.”

WANTED: Flatmate. Must not be too idiotic or annoying.  
Applicants must agree to IQ test. Please see Molly Hooper,  
Bart’s morgue, to schedule testing.”

“Um, Sherlock? Yeah, um, I don’t mean to bother you, but I really can’t be administering IQ tests to potential flatmates for you; that’s against all sorts of professional regulations. And, um, just a suggestion, but you should maybe say something about yourself? So people don’t think they’re moving in with someone too strange?

WANTED: Flatmate. Must have a tolerance for scientific   
experiments in the home, including those conducted on   
human body parts. Please see Molly Hooper, Bart’s morgue,  
for initial screening interview.

“Yeah, Sherlock? Um, yeah, I’m really not going to do interviews for your potential flatmates either. Sorry. I mean, if you need a place to live, I have a bedroom. I mean, a spare bedroom, not that we would be sharing mine. Because that would be weird. Wouldn’t it? I wasn’t suggesting…I just mean…”

WANTED: Flatmate. To share Central London flat with   
World’s Only Consulting Detective. Must know when   
to shut up and be marginally useful. Contact G. Lestrade,   
Metropolitan Police Department, for more information.

“Look, sunshine, it’s not that I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to get a flatmate. But what, exactly, would you like me to tell them? ‘Ex-drug user with an interest in serial murders?’ Do you think you’ll get a lot of interest from that? Maybe stop trying so hard and just spell out what you want and who you are. And maybe you should field your own inquiries; if you send them here, Anderson is likely to get involved.”

WANTED: Flatmate. For Sherlock Holmes, consulting  
detective. Must be intelligent and not easily annoyed.  
Text directly to number found at scienceofdeduction.co.uk

“Sherlock, it’s not that you’re a hard man to find a flatmate for. You’re just going about it all wrong. Why don’t you let me talk it around a bit? And try to think of some of the things that someone living with you may want to know about you. Not the scary stuff, of course, but you know that potential flatmates should know what they’re getting into with one another. We’ll find you someone.”


End file.
